The Sarajevo Project
I wish you were my neighbor
September 2009
There is a voice I hear in my mind and heart nearly every day. The voice belongs to a man 50 years old. He appears much older of course. He is one of the concentration camp survivors who came for massage at the small clinic. Through an interpreter, I learn simply that he was severely beaten for 3 months. There is a lot of shorthand in this place. Phrases such as 'lives alone', 'retired' or 'unwished pregnancy'. Phrases so loaded with meaning. Each describing a universe of pain. A life in ruins. He is a man of quiet dignity and great brokenness.
I thought to myself how hard it must have been for him to come to such a place, to disrobe in front of a strange woman for massage. His clothing was clean but threadbare…as with so many. His pain was so great that he had to come for this small bit of relief. His wife accompanied him. You could feel the weight of their years of struggle and sorrow. We were allowed only 45 minutes with each person. I needed hours…. He was close to death from the strain… I did all I could in the small amount of time available to us, but it broke my heart to have to end it so soon.
We felt something extraordinary happen in that short time, however. I rarely speak of these things, but it can be said here. A powerful Presence entered the small space… He fell into a deep sleep. I wept quietly and continued my work. When he dressed and came out afterward, his eyes were shining. He looked as though a great weight had been lifted from him. When we met with the interpreter, he struggled to find the right words to express what was in his heart. He said simply and from the depth of his heart, 'I wish you could be my neighbor'. Those words pierced my heart. They have stayed with me continually.
I worked in various clinics in Sarajevo and in village homes offering massage therapy for concentration camp survivors. My specialty is in post traumatic stress bodywork. The Bosnian people captured my heart. They have been through so much. It was the most demanding, yet rewarding experience of my career. I would like to build on that experience. We would like to establish a year round clinic both to offer services and to train both local and volunteer therapists.
This was a logical extension of the bodywork I have been doing with traumatized and abused people for nearly 20 years. Drugs and talk therapies are not sufficient as many experts are realizing. Abuse occurs on many levels and it must be addressed on each level for healing to progress. My specialty is in PTSD bodywork. The nervous system and body are often frozen in traumatic experiences. Those experiences can reverberate through a person's life for years afterward. There are gentle, nonverbal and noninvasive ways to help the nervous system release on a deep level. I saw so many extraordinary improvements in my short time there. There is great potential for helping these good people and relieving some of their suffering.
I would like to see a clinic established where we could spend more time with people and do more than superficial work. We have a growing list of therapists that will come. I also teach this work to those that are interested in helping in these ways. Family members can also be taught to help each other in an ongoing way. So many of the people who suffered through those times seem to have been set aside, their lives essentially over. Unable to work, quietly despairing, slowly suiciding, waiting for the end. As one who has survived trauma myself, I know that there is hope and relief through these means.